KJ, It is an emotional time. I'm glad to hear you have an appointment with an IC. I would see them at least every other week. You're going to need the support, and to take a pause from your life for self-reflection. Friends are helpful, but they will be biased towards you, and not think in terms of the M.
Your H has a lot of work to do. He's in pain and is looking for quick comfort.
Be careful with the self-judgment. Dont' use words like failure to describe yourself. Yes, you made mistakes in your M, but you're allowed to be imperfect. The A is your H's choice and failure to face his problems.
Focus on self-care at this time in addition to your DB efforts. Prepare yourself for a journey. Keep posting daily on this forum. Posting is a form of journaling and self-expression, and you will feel a sense of community, as you see you're not alone in your struggles.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
