WAW1

[markhaving probs]

Hi J,

Its great to hear from you, i hope you had a good weekend. Yes, it was a calm weekend, I went out with some friends on Saturday night - we used to be six (3 husbands and 3 wives) now we are 5, which seemed strange as it was the first time we have all got together since the bomb. When I told my wife we were getting together again because one of the couples are moving to San Diego she seemed slightly taken aback. If I was reading the signals correctly I think she might have felt she was being left out, but maybe that was wishful thinking on my part and did not mean anything.

My job finishes this Friday and I am focusing on trying to find another contract. I need to remain strong and calm because in the past I would start to get very stressful and moody in front of my wife. I do not want her to see me like this as it promotes a weakness, I want to show a "its fine, it will be ok" though inside I will be fretting like anything. I feel that I have grown since the bomb as I think I now know how to deal with situations on the outside without promoting my true inner feelings. The only time I backslide is when I am drawn into an argument and I sort of revert to the old me. This is something I will continue to work on as I feel in control when I implement the changes I am trying to achieve. This is also good for my early steps into a PMA which is something I have never really had.

My wife rang me this morning as she stayed with her parents last night to complain that the worktops were not cleaned properly after I had prepared dinner for myself. She never complimented me on the sanding down of the wall or window sill she had asked me to do before she left yesterday. I merely validated her observation of the worktop and apologised. This immediately diffused a situation where I think she would have tried to draw me into a fight - reducing negativity (step 1 in reconciling). This clearly took the wind from her sails as she did not have a response (a jui-jitsui technique I believe).

My goal is to try and secure a new contract this week, but if not I will take my children out this weekend, hopefully without any negative imput from my wife as I am playing golf on Saturday and knowing my wife, she might assume I will be working on the house on Sunday.