everything you say makes great sense for a newcomer who is trying something and checking results, monitoring the outcomes.... BUT you've been here a long time without significant change. I have been here awhile so my time frame of reference is a long one. I get it. But my h showed signs and said things about getting back together along the way and there was no OW.
What I'm trying to say is the whole deal about "checking/monitoring" results after some time. Sorry to be brutal but you did ask for me to check this out. You have DBd some time now. The results are NOT encouraging..."a little improvement" is that you are slightly more civil, correct? I mean there have been NO recent discussions about getting back....so I'm left with wondering how long you will wait, or until what triggering event, until you try something else....
Don't confuse patience with being stuck. I know there's a fine line sometimes and I'm not positive I'm right OF COURSE....but I sense a lot of the same "waiting for a miracle" in you. And with the deaths in my family and close circle the past year, YEAH I am in a hurry to LIVE MY BEST LIFE....with or without a man.
Besides, you glossed over the real chance that 1) nothing will bring him back BUT 2) if anything will, it is likely to be something DIFFERENT....like something scary...like moving on and away. And if he won't drive a few times...then this is NOT MLC....my h flew in from Alaska for weekends...
God knows he was wacky and selfish too, but when the light goes on in them, they miss you and they DO some things differently and you start to wonder if maybe this is it...cuz they make real efforts.
So sorry. I don't see those signs in your h yet and I think it's time to pull out the nukes...not the punitive ones...the ones that show you are moving ON...
A woman only a fool would leave, is a woman who does what makes her and her children happy and secure, in the face of long term neglect and worse....
It is, of course just mho.
((( hugs cuz I KNOW this sucks!!! I get it!!!) but it's not hopeless yet!! But it might become that way if you keep doing the same thing...and expecting different results.
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
