So had a busy weekend and am I now finally about to get around to posting.
Starting/Sugar: to answer your question before H left that was our biggest problem. I attacked the situation by basically presenting that its either me or them (son and OW), but no only me along I should say H and OW did also. OW is very nutty, she assulted me 3 years ago and we have had very bad encounters so I took the stand that I wanted nothing to do with any of them. I think this made it even more difficult for H. When we tried to work things out, H had pulled back on the A and his involvement with S but but was drawn back in. OW had made it absolute that she doesn't want to do have anything to do with her child as well. So the whole thing has been a "power" struggle I would say. I must say that H didn't make it any easy on me either -- he took the stand that his son is his business and he will take care of his business and pushed me out too. H was basicaaly trying to have two families and it was not a happy equalibrium. Now that I have had a chance to be removed from the situation I think I have better vision and understnading about my sitch and also in talking with other people here as well. But sometimes I do get scared and wonder how things would be if we got back together. When H told me about S, my attitude was that I have to accept the child and would and then H continued the A, feelings got hurt, OW is a crazy manipulative bitch, and I took the stand that I'm not getting involved in the drama. But I know that is just not workable. I do know that for us to work H can only have one family and his son would have to be a part of our family. Will this be easy at first --- NOOOO!! But I love kids immensively and H knows that. I usually bring my family and friends kids over to spending the weekend. I have met and I'm trying to start a relationship with H son as part of my 180s. When I talk to H now I show genuine interest by asking about him and one day I meet him and we chatted - baby steps. One difficulty now though is that now that H is deep in this A, he has become the stepfather too to OW's D. It's good that S now goes over to MIL's place to spend time but H also has OW D's there has well and to be honest I am working to accept H's S, but no way am I including OW's D as well - my heart is just not that big. I'm sorry. Anyway, long story short, like I told H this weekend, I don't wouldn't him to chose between me and his son, I would want him to chose to have me AND his son.
