I believe there is no reason to tell the kids that he might not come home. That will only ruin their perception of him, and his homecoming. If that is the choice he makes when it happens, then I think you should discuss it at that time.
In regards to D17, I really believe that the biggest problem stems from her not receiving love in her way. Before you were with her all the time, giving her so much attention, but then things changed, and probably when she needed the most understanding, it was at a time where you were the most caught up with everything else, the kids, work, school, H, whatever and also under the assumption that she did not need you as much. It's easy to take focus away from the older ones when we assume that they don't need us anymore. Since reading the 5LL, at the end it talks about 5LL for kids. This is something I NEVER thought about before. I think it would be beneficial to see if you could figure our HER 5LL, and build on that. I think you guys could have a great relationship. And after that talk you had with her, I think that is a great start to a renewed R.
I know I must convict myself of not being there for my oldest as well, and I should probably learn from your experience so that our R doesn't break down in the future.
Crissy--
Things between me and D17 improve constantly. I am going to get the LL book for children and see what I can figure out for all of the kids. I Do think it will have a positive impact on all of our relationships if I do that.
Yes, please, allow the problems I have had to serve as an example of areas where changes can and should be made. You have a great relationship with your boys and they are still young. Do what you can while you still have the opportunity!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
