I let myself and my kids down. I don't think I have ever felt this low.
Is this the same CNMN that I have been reading for so long and admiring how strong she is? Are you kidding with this statement?
I wonder what you would say if I posted the same exact thing for you to read?
You know what, sometimes we have a feeling. Sometimes we verify that gut instinct. Sometimes our gut is verified. So is it a bigger let down to your kids that you snooped or would it be a bigger let down to your kids to reconcile within a web of deceit? Ultimately you and I both know that would have led to a second failure which would be devastating for you and your kids.
I want to remind you of something that will seem simplistic and maybe you will even say no shitt Ian. You are a divorced woman who has moved on with her life. For goodness sakes why have you forgotten this. You know the drill here, allow him to pursue. Maintain your boundaries. Only do what you want to do and nothing more. You are an I not a we.
You are questioning things that should be second nature to you at this point. I for one know that in your mind they are second nature because you are quick and forthright in your posts to others regarding the exact same issues that you are trying to address. I could cut and paste this thread to mine if you would like and you can respond to yourself
Stand up CNMN, pick yourself up and quit wallowing in your own self pity here. This is not said to be heartless or not compassionate. It is said because it is what you need to do here. You are allowing yourself to fall back into a way of living that you suffered through for way to long to begin with.
He has lied and deceived you once again, how many strikes does he get? Talking tomorrow, I am not sure what good that does you. Seems to me that now that the cat is out of the bag, he is the one who has some talking to do. If you speak tomorrow it will be you apologizing for learning the truth and he will use it to deflect his lies and poor behavior. What does this accomplish for you?
You said you were sorry, do not apologize again. Do not call him. Let him call you and if he tries to bring up the snooping simply tell him you already apologized for that and you two can talk when he is ready to explain what you read. Other than that there is nothing to discuss. You have two obligations here, one being to only work on a relationship with someone if it is a healthy relationship for you. The other is to only work towards a reconciliation if it is in the best interest of your family. Lies and deceit are not what makes for a successful family.
