Still here......

[Silver Fox]

Hi Belle,

Thanks for posting on my thread. I'm growing anxious as there's just one week left until mediation but I'm meeting with my L tomorrow to prepare for it. Which brings me to this:

Our sitch is that we bought this house together, but I have been paying everything on my own. He told me it's basically my house b/c most of the money for the down payment was originally mine. (He's broke like no joke).
I know you want to trust your H but remember, "believe nothing that he says". Being broke will make him desperate - and he will be looking at that house with different eyes.

He's been paying for his illicit affair enabling apartment. He's also been racking up thousands and thousands of dollars of debt as he has been taking out school loans. (I would say $20,000 since he moved out, probably more.)
My H is doing the same thing. Has your H filed for D? Once he does, any debt he incurs will be his alone BUT it's considered joint marital debt if no one has filed. Also, he may be using your combined incomes to get those loans - so you would be responsible too.

Friends have been worried that I will be responsible for his school loans. I attempted to look on the internet for IA's laws, but this stuff is like Greek to me.
See above.

Anyway, I'm worried that filing together is a statement that our finances are still together - they aren't.
But you're still married so filing jointly is not a problem. I think this is the least of your concerns!

And part of me wants to tell him to shove the taxes up his A$$, as he asked if we could file jointly and if I could do them. (Once again, proving I need to be his mother figure.)
Well, you could tell him to shove it OR have the taxes done and keep the refund for yourself.

I don't know. I know some will say to contact a lawyer, but I really don't want to do that.
I didn't either Belle and I put it off too long. Speaking with a L does not mean you want or will even get a D. You need to protect yourself ASAP.

We had talked, way back when, and it may be possible for us to settle this without lawyers. At my Divorce Care class, they really emphasize how ugly it can be with lawyers. They say if possible, you should try to agree without lawyers.
Do you want a D? If it's amicable you may be able to work it out yourself without Ls, but this is rare. It get's ugly with Ls when one or both spouses refuse to budge on terms, custody, etc. I'm afraid since your H is cheating and screwing around with money you are going to need representation.


As much of a cheater my H is, he has told me that there's no way he will ask me to be responsible for any of his school loans.
Ha! If I may quote Puppy - "Cheaters always lie". Please Belle, don't trust your H. I'm sick as can be over not being able to trust mine either but I've learned some hard lessons.

I'm worried about you. Take care of yourself!