Dear Poet, It sounds as if your IC is helping you gain perspecive and helping you observe behaviors that are not helping you at this point.
Also, the memories you are sharing with your IC offer some parallels with your situation with your H. It sounds as if it is helping you stop the pursuit and allow you to "let go". If you can "let go" (or in DB language "go dark"), consistently, it will be helpful to learn how this impacts your R with your H.
I wish you much support as you continue to gain insight and strength!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.