My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

Thank you so much MsM and Stacy for contributing today. I really do feel like I'm needing support at the moment. It'd be nice to have someone supporting me at home though. May as well wish for it to rain beer though. My family hate my W for what she's done and if I went to her family it would no doubt complicate things.

MsM, I meant to reply to you yesterday when I saw you'd contributed. Thank you so much. The more support we can get on here the better I think.

Stacy it's also great to hear from you again. I'm glad you think I did the right thing where the rumours are concerned. I'm really really trying not to think about it too much. I don't want to know what the rumours are but if I think about it too much I make up the worst possible scenarios anyway.

I've been stewing in my own despair all night. Trying to watch some comedy to take the edge of but it is hard. I wish I knew what caused this hopeless feeling this weekend. What the most annoying thing is that it's caused me to believe that I'm not going to get my W back now. Has anyone else ever gotten to that stage and come back from it. I still completely love her but I just can't see her returning the feeling any time soon.

I'm angry at myself too. I spent most of last week encouraging a newbie who was just embarking on to a similar sitch to mine. God I hope he's not reading this! If you are reading this Mark, ignore me and please keep the faith. One thing I'm sure is making it so much harder is that I know I'm fighting against huge odds. I have no support at home, I recently bought my W out of our house so she's worth a lot of money, she's young and has loads of love coming from friends and family, her parents bought her a house, and she's beautiful young woman. It's a scary thing to have to compete against. I feel almost as though I've become surplus to requirements.

I've got the added joy this week that I'm getting audited at work for the next 3 days! It never rains it pours.

Anyway, I'm sorry if this post seems very disjointed but my mind's all over the place. Thank you all for your support. If I'm quiet over the next few days it's because of the audit. I'll try to check in at night though.

Kev