Cinders, I think the going out to the car or not going out is something we perhaps might do differently with hindsight. At the time and in each given situation we just as you say don't make any concious decision it just happens. So no point giving it much credance. It happened. I agree tho' when you have to meet her it would be best alone and no children involved, just in case they are squeamish with the sight of blood! no only joking.
We can only "do" what we feel comfortable with at any given time. Take care.
