Hi Karen, How are you doing? And thanks Flicka, Ive had some pretty good distractions lately because of work, just in time for H's MLC to re-rear its ugly head.

I did finally check my email, no response yet. Not really a surprise, I don't know what I thought would change, this is his way of doing things. Just be quiet and hope you get what you want.

Really, whatever he says its going to mess with my head. What he has said already has messed with my head.

I think I'm burnt out on this whole thing, I don't know if I could be his friend, he said and did some really rotten things, he lied to me, he made love to me and then went out in the living room in MY house and called her, he let me blame myself for all of it, and he left me high and dry. Friends don't do that. I couldn't look into his eyes and not see her there, I couldn't watch him smile, how he wrinkles up his eyes and hunches his shoulders the way he does when he thinks something is really funny, and not remember that he gave that to someone else.

I hate how I was ostracized by the military community here, phone calls stopped coming, people who I had thought were my friends stopped even looking at me, there's one wife who works at Safeway who still cant peel her eyeballs off of me. I would love to scream at her, but that wouldn't help. I didn't do anything wrong. It seems so strange to me, all of our H's go away for the same amounts of time, to the same places. Did I catch the plague? Cant they imagine how they would feel if this was happening to them? Cant they see how easily this could have been any one of them? My main solace in this is that they are military, so in about a year everyone who knew us will be gone on to new duty stations.

Got a little off subject but the rant felt pretty good.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...