Yes, I texted h to ask him to meet last week and gave him possible days and he got back to me today saying Thursday evening was good so I am going to have to think about what I am going to say to him. Sigh! Ms M - I will lay my cards on the table, you are totally right. It will be really hard for me though, totally outside of my box!!
Positive news, I've been on my Music Therapy course this weekend and it was really interesting. Totally not what I expected and has given me lots of food for thought. I am going to really consider carefully over the next few months and try and work out if it would be financially possible for me to do this and whether it is for me or not.
A side note, but quite funny, a guy on the course was showing me a lot of interest. It takes a while for me to open up to people when I first meet them. I tend to stick by myself these days when I'm in a new situation - I find it very hard to just go up and talk to strangers. Anyway, yesterday I didn't really want to socialise so I sat and read my book at lunch etc. Today I went outside for the morning break and this guy sat down and joined me - I was a bit annoyed but friendly. Then at lunch I went to go to the shop and there he was again, we ended up sharing bread a cheese for lunch and having a real laugh. Then on the way home there he was again - he travelled all the way to my station in North London, even though I subsequently found out he was going to South East London!! And finally he asked me if he could have my email address so we could make friends on FB and the next time he was in London could we go and see some jazz together. So nice and unexpected! He had to work hard to get my attention! A good PMA booster and he was also quite hot, 6'4" and nicely toned (I couldn't help but notice ).
(((naej))) Yes, you are right. I will make my sister take notes, thank you that is a really good point! I'm loving the weather at the moment. The weather man said though rain next week, I hope he is wrong. It feels like we haven't seen blue sky for months.
(((Mishka))) you're so lovely. Thank you, you made me well up again!
(((Lisa))) Yes, we do need to have a convo, sigh. I hate having to be the 'responsible' one. It will be good for me to address the issues though directly, a 180.
(((Al))) I was in denial for so long. It now seems so obvious that was why he left. Classic signs! I just didn't want to believe it of him. I do believe he was confused until May 08. He was still seeing me, saying he didn't know if he loved me or not, he took a cuddly toy that was special to us away with him when he went away etc (although I now know he was in Ireland with her!!!!). It is hard to swallow that he had an affair, but easier in a way, I can stop blaming myself which has been a huge problem for me for the 18 months.
).