Got a message after posting -evidently H did notice that we ended the convo today without any resolution. H wanted to know where we were on the R since he had planned a movie and I already had other plans after our convo. (My plans were - yep you all got to me! - just to relax at home - it actually surprised me that I said I things to do and meant it.)
Anyway, H asked me to call back to straighten things out. Hence my frustration is always that nothing ever gets resolved when we talk even if we don't fight.
Last night I noticed I walked away from lunch with a tension headache despite having a slightly elevated mood and feeling of hopefulness. I spent the evening thinking about that split. The thought of having to call and talk again about where we are - just creates more tension.
Part of me wants to forgive and move forward toward working on the M, while obviously another part thinks that it was clear from our talk yesterday that we are still at the same point - only just not arguing. We are still wanting different lifestyles. Although in one way we both agree that the kids father should be taking more responsibility. (Like the fact that when he rented an apt after our D and wanted shared custody -but he didn't get an apt that accommodated the three of them - only two. So he has never been in a position to have them live with him.)
