Congrats on the great audition! I wonder if there is a place for cello playing, jazz drumming comedienne? It seems that it might be quite a niche! I can't imagine there being more than one, you would be in demand!
So, do you think he got any feeling that your dreams might include him? I was trying to real between the lines, I was wondering?
Yeah, so was I! But then I guess you were too.. from the way you wrote it.
Well done on the sudition and on decidinf more on your direction!
I feel quite depressed too and worried about my financial situation, so I'm with you on that one! It can drag you down and all of this is harder when you dont have a loving partner to just put their arms around you and tell you its going to be alright !
As for B.. wow.. well done on being so brave and feeling free to just call him these days, thats great! And to tak for 90 minutes !? Wow! That trumps my hour and 20 with the ex on Saturday.
Lastly.. have you read Priay Kale today? There is a very powerful Mars in Pisces sextile Pluto on Thursday.. so yes, call him !!!
I wondered what had happened to you, so glad that you continue to have such a rewarding connection with him, but its hard isnt it, do you find? So bittersweet... Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I hope you are having fun... You should, you know? K
I am just wondering, are you open to flirting or are you 100% devoted to B? I cant imagine you dont get "hit" but decades, at least, of men but I have never read anything about it?
Glad to hear you had such an open and honest convo with B about your goals and thoughts. That is brilliant! You're right, he left the ball in your court to call him. Thursday after Yoga sounds like a good idea. You'll be more centered then and open.
Question - which school in Boston? Berkley? I applied there and auditioned for them but totally blew it. I played flute and piccolo from age 7 to 18. After blowing it, I gave up my music dreams. Just an aside....
Again, I'm so glad to hear you are doing well in refocusing your goals and dreaming big! That is so important to your wellbeing.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Wow!! So much progress on so many fronts! I'm so pleased that you and B were able to speak for s long and it felt natural and intimate to you- that's great isn't it? Did you call him back on Thursday? How did it go?
And did you hear back from the school yet? I have my fingers crossed for you, although it doesn't sound like you need any extra luck
Do you feel like the interaction with B is becoming more 'natural' now and less like you're trying to DB him? (I'm thinking in the sense of not worrying about how you come across and how it impacts him). It sounds to me as though you're much more relaxed interacting with him than a few months ago, and loads more than a year ago- great news!
I found out that I got into Longy School (the music school I auditioned for in Boston)!!!!!!! They even gave me some scholarship, including a special "ambassadorial assistantship... for students of the highest caliber to represent the school at special performances and events" ???!!!! WTF??? It feels TOTALLY AWESOME for someone to tell me I am "highest caliber"!!??? I am not sure whether or not I will go--I sent them a long email negotiating for more scholarship money and am supposed to talk to them about it tomorrow. Basically, I feel like I really turned a corner/crossed a threshold while preparing for the audition, & I'm excited to see what happens if I keep nurturing my blooming cello abilities. And the teachers I'd be working with are amazing. However, I am really not sure if I want to do any more school, or be in Boston, or go into more student debt for any reason whatsoever. So I am giving myself a lot of time to percolate about my decision. Regardless of whether or not I go, I am really excited that I did the audition, it really transformed me in ways I didn't expect and craved deep in my soul.
Update in B-land: Before I found out whether or not I got in, I called him (about a week after the last phone call) to ask him for his opinion of Longy School (since he knows a zillion musicians, I thought he'd have the low-down). When he picked up the phone he said really excitedly, "Where are you?" We started talking about our different impressions of the Longy school, it evolved into a much deeper conversation where he basically said: "You have a vision and a dream for your life and most people don't have that. What I hear from you is that you want to be living your dream NOW, you need to be doing it NOW. I think Longy has the potential to be that place for you, but it will only be a place for you to live your dream if you MAKE it that place, because it's not about Longy, it's about you at Longy."
Then we had an exchange that went something like this: T: Yeah, I can't predict what my experience will be like there because my experience being there will be a unique manifestation that's never happened before. B: That's exactly what I'm trying to say, but you said it so much better, wow, that was beautiful. T: (sort of joking) It's probably easier to paraphrase that idea than say it eloquently the first time! B: Well, what you said was still beautiful.
later in the conversation I told him what he said was so nice, it almost made me cry, and I just really want to share my energy with the world, and I don't know where to go to do that. At the end of the conversation he said, "Be sure to let me know what you decide." ???!!!
This conversation was about 90 minutes long... I'm just writing down the highlights I remember.
A few days later when I found out that I had gotten in, he was one of the first people I called. I just called him and let him know I got in, and he was really excited for me. When I told him about the scholarship he said, "that's beautiful." [there's that word again??] Then I told him I needed to get going but he was one of the people I really wanted to tell, and he said, "let me know what you decide" again. I wanted to make the conversation short because we seemed to be getting into a habit of having 30-90 minute long conversations and I wanted to mix it up, also so he wouldn't be scared to pick up the phone whenever I called! ["OMG, it's T... I can't pick up unless i"m free for the next 90 minutes..."]
Both of these conversations had a very open, warm, intimate, genuinely deep friendship feeling.
