Hey all, I will respond to your posts soon, but first I could use some advice.
My s8 told me tonight that S5 sleeps with JA and ow when he can't fall asleep.
S5 confirmed this.
I had previously told my kids that I did not want them lying in bed with the ow, but it was ok if it was just Daddy.
My L at one time even wrote JA's lawyer to immediately put a stop to S5 sharing a bed with him and ow and that it was totally inappropriate.
The behavior stopped for awhile, but I found out tonight it's been happening again for awhile now.
My L had told me that I could take him to family court when the divorce is done and they would probably put a stop to overnight visits if he does not abide by the rule that S5 must not share a bed with them.
I am very upset that he is sharing a bed with them. Am I over-reacting? I just find it morally wrong since ow and JA are not married and that they are living together but to allow S5 to share their bed with them has my blood boiled.
My thinking is that I need to protect my kids. So the logical thing to do would be to take him to family court. But you all know JA and how he is vindictive. Will I be opening up a whole other can of worms? He loves to get back at me and I am afraid of the consequeces if I do take him to court.
Should I just let this slide? Maybe I will be doing more damage to the kids in the long run? I don't know. Help, I am lost!
Ms. H, Report it to your lawyer. Your JA thinks that just because you are divorced, he longer has to abide by the laws. That's so wrong and it will screw the little boy's mind up if it continues.
Hope all is well with you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree with Snodderly....report it to your lawyer. JA has always thought he is above having to honor the law. There are just some who think they can do whatever they want, no matter what.
As I have told you before, my kids were not allowed to stay overnight w/ their dad if the OW was going to be there (of course, that changed once they got married).
You have every right to object to that- it is morally wrong.
He is clueless and you have to be the one to bring his sinful mind back to reality.
I agree with the rest, inform your lawyer and let him/her take it from there.
Expect him to retaliate.
Stay away from him, and don't feed into his temper tantrum.
In this mess it is so easy to question our actions, keep your moral standard and integrity....
You are priceless.
Last edited by TRUSTING; 03/22/0901:58 PM.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
They already own a house and live together. If you take them to court then it's going to cost you a load of money, he'll probably encourage his kids to keep secrets from you and Donkey and his ow will probably just go get married.
None of it is fair, none of it is okay, just looking at the realistic fall out.
About your S5 sleeping in their bed... I had to deal with H and ow taking baths with all 3 of my kids !!!Can you imagine?? I spoke to H once and told him I thought it was innapropriate, but you know what... he didn't think so... so does not intend to stop it... I realized then and there, that some things are not in my control, however much they hurt or irritate me. I don't like it, I hate it even, but sometimes we have to accept things the way they are... (please note that Accepting does not mean you have to like it !!!) Anyway, just giving you my 2 cents on this ...
Take care sweety !!! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Hi there, Report this to your L, let him give you the options you have legally. JA is just not thinking...he has no idea what this will do to his kids in the future.
