In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[steady]

Rght now, I feel afraid of the changes that are going on within me.

I am afraid for the wrong reasons.

I want to change to become a better man, which in turn will help me to become a better father. If I am fortunate enough my changes will help me to be a better husband. I know these things to be true.

Here is where I fall short, I am afraid that my changes will come to late in my marriage. I am afraid that my wife will either not see these changes and therefore they won't matter to her. Or she will see these changes, but they still will not matter to her.

Now I know my fear is something that I alone am creating, I just don't know how to let go.

This is normal. They may be too late or not. No one can answer this question - it requires a crystal ball. My changes apparently weren't enough for my W. But that's my sitch.

But let me ask you this:

If you knew that she wouldn't come back, would you still make the changes to make you a better person? Or are you only doing them to get her back?

Remember, Mike from Tennessee told me and everyone here: This place is about saving yourself, not saving your M. Save yourself, if the M is saved then it's icing on the cake. In reality, the only way to save your M is to save yourself first. It's the ONLY way.