Thanks robx - I actually have done pretty friggin good since Christmas. I even went almost pitch-black-dark for the month of February, and came out in March a better man...
Quite honestly, the ultimatum was for me. I have stayed with W through a multitude of her "wanting to try again", wanting to move out, going back to school, etc. It's been plenty long enough. And at the end of two and a half years, she decided she wanted to date.
The original intent of filing D for me was because W was continuing in her affair. I will still file Monday, unless she ends it. My kids deserve to know that it's wrong. I sat down and explained to them what divorce was, and why it was wrong, and what an affair was (at a 6-8 year old level) and why it was wrong.
Although I know that W hasn't seen OM - I only have a casual observance by D8 that they are talking a lot less, and "a lot less" is not none at all - still, this is up to her.
I point-blank asked her if we were 100% done, and she can't even give me an answer? You know what, I'm happy, I'm fulfilled, I'm content, I know who I am, and what I'm worth.
I don't need to wait on W anymore - if she wants to come back, then she'll clearly and unequivocally say so, and that's it. Period.
I am not going to stoop anymore. I'm not going to allow her to disrespect me and my kids with an affair, no matter how platonic. I'm not going to continue to keep my life on hold.
I gave God full permission to stop me in my tracks and any time He sees fit, and I would immediately comply. Maybe he has caused the week delay and the weekend delay, but W could trot off Monday to OM's house, too. So, I'm moving forward.
