OK, H called asking to talk already. I could hear the frustration in his voice but he did not insist and he did not threaten - he just listened. My shock! I had plans already to fill the day but offerred to call when available. He was ok with that. Shock again!
The plumber kept his appt -so I got a long standing problem resolved there, but my lunch/coffee meet up with a friend fell through. So I called H and explained that my plans changed and did he want to meet after his IC. (the IC office is around the corner from my house and H lives on the other side of town.) He said he did.
We went out for a late lunch. He was blown away by something in the IC session but didn't want to talk about it. We had a polite convo during the meal and started to talk. He still wants to work on the M, and means to move back in with my kids. Shock again. I asked him how he figures he can stay sober and do that, when all I heard from him for three years was that it made him drink. Response: I didn't like the sitch, it was an excuse for my drinking, but did not cause it, my drinking caused more drinking. I can't drink anymore unless I am prepared to die. That is not a choice for me. So, I took the risk of telling him that my problem was how he treats me. Response: I am in a better position to treat you a whole lot better and I think I can.
Obviously much more was said but that is the nutshell version. I did point out that it didn't make sense to me that if he is still having difficulty with the idea of living with my children and he is... and admitting he made a mistake in getting M,... I had to wonder why bother at this point? You could stay where you are and move forward in your life and not have to deal with me or the kids any further. He seemed to feel that I was making a good point but he wants me.
What did bother me and I let it go today - is that he was not willing to discuss resolution of any problems I have brought up til now - like the car issue. His reasoning was this: we shouldn't discuss things that tear us apart if we want to try to work on getting closer. I feel two ways about that one. Any feedback from others on this?
By the way, he asked me to go to watch a movie but I told him I had too much to do - he seemed surprised but didn't push it.
