alien invasion II

[hoosiermama]

I went to my daughter's band concert last night before dropping her off for her weekend at her dad's. It was during one of the fundraising fish fries that we used to love going to, but I was dreading the immersion back into the community I no longer feel a part of. I hate being there because it plunges me back into a deep well of grief for the community and the friends I used to have. It's so awkward. I sat with some of the other moms, which was fine. As people saw me, they either looked away, or came over to hug me, sometimes with tears in their eyes. D13 doesn't want to return to this school next year; it's been a bad year for her on many levels--7th grade is difficult in so many ways. And even though she has been there since preschool, she feels excluded by other girls and by a couple of the teachers, and believes the principal and the pastor hate her--she's had a lot of disciplinary action because H usually brings her to school late on her mornings with him, as if she had any control over that. (when I've tried to deal with that, the principal--a former colleague there--either ignored me or was very rude; however, she's no longer being written up for tardies). So I am undecided about sending her back next year, although it should be the culmination of her school career there. The faculty and staff know our situation; she's been a child of the parish since she was 3. It's been her whole world. And now that her family life has been upended, she should be able to count on their support and friendship even more--but it just isn't there. I am so sad for her; she had nothing to do with any of this, but she's paying the price for H's feelings about me, and for some of my previous co-workers' feelings about me. I so wish I had family and a better support system that could fill in where everything else dropped out. This has to get better at some point, right?