Oops!!.......I think I've dropped the rope!!

[glamgirl]

Yes SC that is why you don't need to contact him. Anything that needs to be said do it through e-mail. Limit your interactions, because you aren't feeling loving and supportive, so NO need to talk. You will feel so much better when you distance yourself.

The bottom line is that you can't stop any of this from happening. Meaning you can't make your h be a loving supportive h, loving father and grandfather, stop him from dating. You see you have NO control. As much as we want to shake these men and hold up the mirror and try to get them to think of what they are doing. IT JUST WON"T WORK. Sorry that is the grim reality. So what do you do?

That is WHY SC you step back focus on you, look the other direction and not concern yourself with h's life. He doesn't want your concern right now anyway. Then only then, maybe your h can focus on himself and see his wrongs and that is NO guarantee.

This is the hard part, but seriously what do you need to discuss with your h that can't be handled through e-mail. I even think you could have sent him an e-mail regarding GD and then let him call you if necessary. You see SC let your h drive the communication, not you.

Let him go for now! Everytime you go reach for your phone, send an e-mail instead and ask yourself is this communication really necessary right now. We want to keep in touch because we think it's our last hope, but it's not.

As you can see by my sitch, it really helped my h process what he was going through by me not contacting him for every little thing. I stopped contacting him and allowed him to contact me and then kept it loving and brief. You know like fleeting moments of brightness.

How about instead of cool and cordial, you just don't contact him for awhile. I think you have c meetings with s17 and h, but just show up. No reminders for your h, he is an adult. If you have something to discuss just send an e-mail.

Do you think this approach will work for you? Remember NO excuse to call your h. We all know what those excuses are. We think of anything to contact our h's about, because we want to hear their voice, see if they are thinking of us, probing for R talks, you name it we look for it.

Have a good weekend regardless. Are you going to CA? Maybe you can stop by and we can have lunch this week. What do you think? Send me an e-mail.