Oops!!.......I think I've dropped the rope!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Thank you [[[[[[[[SMW & BM]]]]]]]]

I am feeling a little better this morning. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I'm so exhausted. But, I'm OK. What matters is my kids and grand-daughter. I am so very lucky to have them. They are the light of my life!! And I feel so sorry for H that he apparently doesn't have the capability to feel this. He is missing out of the absolute greatest joy that this life can offer.......but that is his loss I know, and I will not allow my sorrow for him to ruin my experience of that joy!

I don't know anymore if I would even ever want H back even if he were to have some sort of an epiphany and what to try to reconcile. I think about PMA and "being the greener grass" when I have contact with him, and I just don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't mean I want to attack him or anything (although that thought does hold some good fodder for fantasy), but I mean that I don't think I'm capable right now of being "friendly" or "positive". I neither like nor respect the man he has become. I can be cool and cordial, but no more than that.