I disagree with you here, my friend. Masculinity is not about height, build, or body type. Sure, these physical attributes are the first things women notice and respond to, BUT true masculinity is about self-confidence and having a presence, for lack of a better word. Men and women sense it, by the way you carry yourself, by the way you speak and interract. I have met small men who could command a room by their very presence, and I have met huge, muscular guys who showed themselves to be followers, just in the way they carried themselves.
Masculinity and Femininity is 90% mental. Remember the woman that DQ described who weights 200 lbs, but who has the self-esteem and self-confidence to be feminine, sexy, fun, and vivaceous --> regardless of not meeting society's stereotype body? The same thing goes for men: you are what you THINK you are, to a very large degree.
I think you are (not for the first time) bang on the money with this one.
Its all about the mindset. And if I had to sum up the masculine mindset in one word it would be penetrating. Penetrating of fear, anxiety, uncertainty, evasion, obstruction, and female moodiness and temper.
In fact LuckyGirl hit on this very point when she referred in one of her earlier posts to how a man should "mentally bulldoze through" his woman's excuses. While I would substitute for bulldozer, depending on the precise problem, a scalpel, chisel, plough, even sword, she expressed very well what the feminine needs from the masculine.
Bagheera understands very well that he has to lead his marriage. That doesn't mean his wife is passive, or that he does all the work. But it does mean he sets the tone and structure of the marriage, within which his wife can safely express her own sexual self.
The masculine does not wait around for approval, it just gets on with things, pushing relentlessly through time, making the very best of what nature has given him, and accepting and being grateful for the problems challenges that life continually throws his way.
A man that understands this and lives it, and does not recoil or lean on others, will have within him the "presence" Bagheera refers to. Because he accepts what a man's life is about, and is therefore fully "present" in it.
The lesson I learned in my own marriage, was not to let my purpose in life get derailed by sexual problems - at one point I pretty much ran out of fuel altogether. A man must not expect his woman to "fuel" him. In fact, its the other way round - accomplishing things in the outside world gives him confidence and energy to bring home and fuel the relationship.
Cinco, carry on working on yourself, especially your thinking and your purpose (work, music etc).
I just thought I would end by giving a link to one of my favourite examples of "presence".
