Hey everyone. It's been a mess of a couple days, meaning: I've been a hot mess. I haven't spoken to my H since he dropped K off on Sunday, other than the stupid text he sent about "Dane" on his way out. I've been okay. I don't want to have anything to do with my H right now. I feel a lot of anger and hatred. It makes me sad to feel this way. Especially, since I have worked so hard over the last year to just be okay with him. So, H sends me a text last night "I'll take K on Sunday 11am". I didn't respond. I just figured I would respond today. About 1/2 hour later, my BIL calls (he NEVER calls). He says that he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I was doing. I think MIL put him up to it. But, that's okay. We talked a little. I asked him how the baby was. He said "Can I tell you something? I have doubts that this baby is his." I asked why. He said that the baby has a full head of black hair, doesn't look like anyone on their side and when he held him, he didn't feel anything towards him". That would be a kick in the pants, wouldn't it? But, I'm sure it IS his. BIL also told me that he is moving in with H and OW. He can't afford his apartment, so he is going to rent a room from them. How nice. So, needless to say, yesterday wasn't too great. H didn't take K today, he went golfing with his Dad and Brother instead. What a guy! MIL felt the need to tell me that he was up 3 times with the baby last night. I had to do it alone. I hate this. I really hate this. I'm sorry. It is really very painful to watch him acting like a family with her and her kids and their new baby...knowing how he threw our family away, our M and he treated me so horribly during the last year and a half. But, according to him, his life has been nearly perfect for the last year and a half. I hate him.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hey everyone. It's been a mess of a couple days, meaning: I've been a hot mess. I haven't spoken to my H since he dropped K off on Sunday, other than the stupid text he sent about "Dane" on his way out. I've been okay. I don't want to have anything to do with my H right now. I feel a lot of anger and hatred. It makes me sad to feel this way. Especially, since I have worked so hard over the last year to just be okay with him. So, H sends me a text last night "I'll take K on Sunday 11am". I didn't respond. I just figured I would respond today. About 1/2 hour later, my BIL calls (he NEVER calls). He says that he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I was doing. I think MIL put him up to it. But, that's okay. We talked a little. I asked him how the baby was. He said "Can I tell you something? I have doubts that this baby is his." I asked why. He said that the baby has a full head of black hair, doesn't look like anyone on their side and when he held him, he didn't feel anything towards him". That would be a kick in the pants, wouldn't it? But, I'm sure it IS his. BIL also told me that he is moving in with H and OW. He can't afford his apartment, so he is going to rent a room from them. How nice. So, needless to say, yesterday wasn't too great. H didn't take K today, he went golfing with his Dad and Brother instead. What a guy! MIL felt the need to tell me that he was up 3 times with the baby last night. I had to do it alone. I hate this. I really hate this. I'm sorry. It is really very painful to watch him acting like a family with her and her kids and their new baby...knowing how he threw our family away, our M and he treated me so horribly during the last year and a half. But, according to him, his life has been nearly perfect for the last year and a half. I hate him.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hey everyone. It's been a mess of a couple days, meaning: I've been a hot mess. I haven't spoken to my H since he dropped K off on Sunday, other than the stupid text he sent about "Dane" on his way out. I've been okay. I don't want to have anything to do with my H right now. I feel a lot of anger and hatred. It makes me sad to feel this way. Especially, since I have worked so hard over the last year to just be okay with him. So, H sends me a text last night "I'll take K on Sunday 11am". I didn't respond. I just figured I would respond today. About 1/2 hour later, my BIL calls (he NEVER calls). He says that he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I was doing. I think MIL put him up to it. But, that's okay. We talked a little. I asked him how the baby was. He said "Can I tell you something? I have doubts that this baby is his." I asked why. He said that the baby has a full head of black hair, doesn't look like anyone on their side and when he held him, he didn't feel anything towards him". That would be a kick in the pants, wouldn't it? But, I'm sure it IS his. BIL also told me that he is moving in with H and OW. He can't afford his apartment, so he is going to rent a room from them. How nice. So, needless to say, yesterday wasn't too great. H didn't take K today, he went golfing with his Dad and Brother instead. What a guy! MIL felt the need to tell me that he was up 3 times with the baby last night. I had to do it alone. I hate this. I really hate this. I'm sorry. It is really very painful to watch him acting like a family with her and her kids and their new baby...knowing how he threw our family away, our M and he treated me so horribly during the last year and a half. But, according to him, his life has been nearly perfect for the last year and a half. I hate him.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hey everyone. It's been a mess of a couple days, meaning: I've been a hot mess. I haven't spoken to my H since he dropped K off on Sunday, other than the stupid text he sent about "Dane" on his way out. I've been okay. I don't want to have anything to do with my H right now. I feel a lot of anger and hatred. It makes me sad to feel this way. Especially, since I have worked so hard over the last year to just be okay with him. So, H sends me a text last night "I'll take K on Sunday 11am". I didn't respond. I just figured I would respond today. About 1/2 hour later, my BIL calls (he NEVER calls). He says that he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I was doing. I think MIL put him up to it. But, that's okay. We talked a little. I asked him how the baby was. He said "Can I tell you something? I have doubts that this baby is his." I asked why. He said that the baby has a full head of black hair, doesn't look like anyone on their side and when he held him, he didn't feel anything towards him". That would be a kick in the pants, wouldn't it? But, I'm sure it IS his. BIL also told me that he is moving in with H and OW. He can't afford his apartment, so he is going to rent a room from them. How nice. So, needless to say, yesterday wasn't too great. H didn't take K today, he went golfing with his Dad and Brother instead. What a guy! MIL felt the need to tell me that he was up 3 times with the baby last night. I had to do it alone. I hate this. I really hate this. I'm sorry. It is really very painful to watch him acting like a family with her and her kids and their new baby...knowing how he threw our family away, our M and he treated me so horribly during the last year and a half. But, according to him, his life has been nearly perfect for the last year and a half. I hate him.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
I gotta ask why your MIL would even say anything like that to you? My MIl does strange crap like that too. She goes from thinking exh made a huge mistake to telling me what a huge heart he has and what a great dad he is.
Maybe its time to back off all of the inlaws. Put some distance there and if they want to see K, then let them see her when your H has her. Its really time to go forward all the way and leave everything about your H in the past.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I don't think I have ever commented on your threads but your one I follow..... Bless you and your daughter and I think your A OK to be a hot mess for a little while. You have done so well and I am so proud that you have not failed your daughter thru all of this . You should be proud of yourself too. I just wanted you to know I am praying for you.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Thank you. I need the lift from time to time. I have really been trying to distance myself from my H. I really don't want to be anywhere near him right now. It's just too painful. He knows I don't want to be near him, too. But, he's so busy I can't imagine it matters much. In-laws are here right now. It's hard to keep my distance because they need to see K. I have told them that I want our convo to be about us and k, not h, ow or their new baby. I just can't go there, right now. So far, they have been pretty good about it, except (obviously) for the occassional comment from MIL. She is very much like my H....she often says things that she doesn't realize hurt. I don't believe for one minute that she would ever hurt me or say something she knew would hurt. I just don't think she thinks about it before she speaks. Going there for dinner tonight. K isn't feeling well so we won't stay late. H still plans on having K tomorrow. MIL told him that she is sick, but he doesn't seem to care. I think it's a horrible idea to bring her to his house with that newborn. But, he wants K to meet her brother. What a crock of crap. He has this little fantasy family and it's all BS. How wonderful that K is going to have a bunch of half siblings and step sibblings .... she should have FULL siblings. Thanks H for thinking about that before you knocked up your gf who already has two children from a man that wouldn't marry her. What a clusterf***. Sorry, just venting. But, I guess OW has talked H into believing that, that is a normal family. Let's see she has half siblings from all over - her Mother was married 4 times - siblings from different fathers and her Dad...same thing. Whatever. Hopefully, some day K will have another sibling (from me) I can only wish it would be a full sibling that her father and I give her...but, do I really want to have another baby with this man. Or maybe, it won't be from him, but from another man who is a better father for our child and for K, too. Who knows where life is gonna take me now.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
that's right, who knows where your life will take you. You can have a great life, and believe that.
Your comment "But, then what does that make of our M...fake, phoney...just another act in his play. It doesn't make me feel very good about our life. To feel as though it was all lies. "
your M was not a lie. It was not fake. Your H was/is weak. I promise he will regret what he did. It may be a long time from now, but it will happen.
Please try not to focus on H so much. I know sometimes we need the time to vent, but now, lets move on to you.
What are you doing for yourself this weekend, or next? How is the softball?
(((B)))
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Blindsided everything you are feeling is completely normal. Take your time and step away from the situation as much as you can right now. Some of the hardest times for me were right after H/OW baby was born. It was brutal, but remember...the new wears off fairly quickly and real life sets in.
Do whats best for you and K and take a break from the chaos they bring to your world. Nothing says you ALWAYS have to answer your phone or respond to a text. Cell phones are wonderful because they have the ignore button...if only we could have them installed in ourselves.
Keep your head above water and focus on you. Go out and do something, anything that will take your mind off of this and believe me I know how hard that is, but its better for you and for K. The train-wrecks a comin' sometimes it just takes awhile. Be kind to yourself, you have done so well throughout this whole thing and you are a great mommy who is there for her little girl. ((((hugs)))))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Hope you had a decent weekend. How did K's visit go with your H?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
