Thank you for putting it into perspective like that SMW.
In my family or H there are no children of D , so i rely on the advice of those who have been children od divorce. .
This changes many many ways I am dealing with my children . although mine are all young adults , I do understand that it impacts as much as any other time of there lives.
i dont bad mouth H but in jest can refer to him as the sperm donar or dork. My kids all who are angry and hurt also sometimes call him that. BUT I always tell them that he does love them, that he si not himself and that you only ever have one father and that up until recently , he was the best darned father you could have.
I o keep eldest updated with movement within the process and all actions H is taking. He seems to appreciate it and responds as an adult in trying to see reason.
