Take a deep breath and don't panic. Don't rush to try to fix things.
If you want to have a serious chance at mending things you are going to have to change the dynamic between the two of you.
It takes two willing parties to argue. I would recommend your first step to be working on 100% no more arguing. This alone will make a huge difference in her perception of you.
How do you do this? The technique is listening and validating. You resolve not to argue with her anymore and replace your defenses with "I understand", "Okay, I can see how you would feel that way" and so on.
In your next post, please list all the things she has complained about you, and any 180s you are doing on them if so.
Lastly, I think the ex probably has everything to do with this, especially the "married the wrong man" comment. She may just be burned out on you (due to the fighting) and feeling infatuated with the fantasy of having something perfect with someone else. The first step to breaking that is significantly improving what she has with you.
Keep posting and I will try to check in with you again soon.
SF
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
