WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[Coach]

I said I didn't want to repeat myself (something she's been complaining about) as I think I said everything I wanted to say. I did wind up giving her the card. She cried a little. It was hard but I didn't try to comfort her. She could tell I was sad as well

Don't tell her "I don't want to repeat myself." It appears you are trying too hard to show her that you are following her wishes instead of just doing it because it's more productive. Say nothing (mysterious) or say I'm fine right now and mean it. Be confident.

Before she left I told her that I do love her and believe in the marriage but know that's not how she feels right now.

Really you know how she feels? You basically just told her that she is stomping all over your beliefs. You are making R talk and it's unproductive so stop doing it. I would bet most women (your W included) that get married believe in marriage. Try to imagine how much hurt, frustration and confusion you have caused to her for her to reach this point.

I told her I finally understood a marriage is about loving each other enough to help/let them achieve what they want in life, even if its not what I want. I told her I would love to be on that path with her once she decides what she wants in life, if she wanted me to

But I feel that the best thing I can do to show her I love her is to not stop her froming doing what she wants, even though its not what I want

In a healthy M if you truly love and truly give then what she wants is what you want. You want your beloved to be happy and you want to support them in their journey. Stop telling her that what she is doing is not what you want. You are repeating yourself. You just said you know what marriage is all about but you wont be on that path until....... she tells you what she wants. If you haven't figured this out women are totally comfortable changing their minds in a second and expect you to OK with it. Be on the path anyway. Aren't you married? Man up and lead.

I was sad but didn't break down nor comforted her.

Your W is crying in front of you. You won't get a cookie from me for not breaking down. Could you not have at least put your hand on her shoulder and shown a little compassion. Said "I understand." Nothing else just let her know you understand she is hurt. You want to grab her when it is good for you but when she is hurting you act stoic.

I did feel sad for how confused she is.

So think about it. What is causing all the confusion and what are you doing about it?

I do truly love her

Then show her thru your actions.
Less talk and more work.