WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[MrBond]

I'm sorry that this all happened today.

I had a feeling something like this might happen and that she would take the time away from you to look for another place.

At least you gave her the card which will let her think over things. It always amazes me how our W's can say that they can't think about "what they want" now only what they don't. Typical MLC talk where all they do is care about themselves and to heck with everyone else who gets dragged along with them.

From here on out, you might want keep things just strictly business and try being as detached as possible. If she says she wants to talk, you can ask her if anything's changed. Then if she says no, then you can say there's nothing more to talk about.

She's talking to you to make her feel better about leaving you. To clear her conscience. Don't think for a minute that she's serious about you right now. She's still only thinking about herself and her needs, and finds it easier to continue to blame you and your marriage for not allowing her to do what she wants to do. Which, of course, she has no idea what that is.

Honestly, I don't know what the point of her going to counseling with you is. Again, I believe she said that just to appease you. She's not serious about getting anything out of it and hasn't from day one. All of the stuff you discussed with the C, she's dismissed, but you haven't. So while you're learning and growing, she isn't. Tell her that if she feels she needs to see a C, then she should see her own, but you are looking at continuing to make yourself a better person even though she isn't.