So today, AGAIN, I called H but to clear the air. I work up thinking about yesterday's call (to be honest I think lately all my thoughts have been on H and its just not good), and was thinking that lately I've started calling him more often. I haven't been doing daily but like every other day and the calls have not been positive. So I felt like I need to clear that up. Anyway, called H to at least clear up my freaking out yesterday so that I'm not seen as just the bad news bearer or someone who only calls with a poor conversation. Anyway, told him that I do have emotions and yesterday was one of those emotional days. And whoa he said everyother day you call me with something, he notices that its every other day-- I didn't like that. Anyway, he then said that he's been thinking a lot too and he also is trying to figure things out but he doesn't call me with everything. I asked him who he talks to and he said no one really. He may ask a friend for opinion but that's it. So we got to talking and he was telling me that a friend of his told him that he should divorce his wife. I said he may be right but why did he tell you that. He said because the friend said that there are too many problems and the friend doesn't know what he's talking about and that his friend said the only reason he's still with his wife is because of the kids and child support. The H said, but his wife is "not like you". Interesting uhhh?
Anyway, that said H started to ask me my younger brother and so I realized I should ask about his son. And we talked about him that how he wants to look like his daddy and he now has the same jacket and shoes like him and he always says daddy I wanna be like you. The we started to talk about getting his son into school and H said that I know I feel like I'm not doing a good job with him, I need to be doind more for him. So, this was telling for me though. Would H really leave OW and his son since he feels like he needs to be there and to do more for him. I think my situation is actually really difficult and H may not be able to leave and I don't even know if I can live with that either. I have come to terms with the fact that if H comes home I would want really have to include his son into our lives but I know OW will not allow that at all and it will get really messy. H knows that too. So, questions for those who have children and the strong bond, doesn't it seem unrealistic for me to think H will come home and not be with his son who he loves to death?
Anyway, H said that we need to talk either tonight or tomorrow. Any advice on what I should say or not say?
