I think I'm done...

[SoCo]

Thanks Trapt,

Yeah, it's a screwed up situation. Thanks for the understanding.

Well, I just talked to H about tax buisness. He was already at work. He was on the phone talking to me and someone asked him who he was talking to. He replied w/my name. Then I said, what?
because I didn't know what he was talking about. He then replied
(name of ow) asked who I was talking to. Now, he doesn't know that I know her name because I have never asked him. So I just said really quickly that I would let him go.

Lo and behold he calls me back about 3 minutes later and asks what I'm doing. I told him I was on the computer. He says what's wrong. I couldn't hold it in. I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't. I told him I hope he realizes that he could lose his job by messing around with an employee (he's upper management, she's an employee) and I hope it's worth it. He says he hasn't done anything wrong, they only talk and he's been out on a couple of dates w/her. I say that it's still wrong, but obviously it's now none of my buisness. We are still legally married, so...

I also just HAD to ask for my own curiosity how old she is. I have never asked any questions about her because I didn't want to give them the power. So, I did, and he tells me 19. Holy sh*t! 19! WTF?????????? He is one sick puppy. We were that age when we first started dating. That's not even OW, it's OG. That's how I will refer to her now. Girl, not even a woman. Again, holy sh*t. So then, yes, I went on to make it even worse.

I know I shouldn't have kept talking but I did. I told him he better not even think about bringing her around one of my son's ballgames or kid's functions. He says he wouldn't. Whatever. I told him I'm sure he's filled the girl full of lies and if he chooses to bring her to one of my kid's funtions I will not keep my mouth shut. Anyway, I know I shouldn't have gone there, but I did.He doesn't want her to know what she's really getting. I'm sorry but I have kept my mouth shut about this the whole time, have not asked, have not pushed. The ONLY time it was spoken about was the incident with my daughter, and that's because if affected my children. So, I feel like I have a right to say my piece about it once. The last thing I want is him waltzing up with this OG to one of my son's games. I think the threat of me talking to her is enough to keep that from happening.

I am so shocked and disgusted. When I was figuring she had to be young, I was thinking 21 or 22. Not fricking 19. Anyway, I know I screwed up big by confronting him about it, but it is what it is. I couldn't continue to ignore it. I don't want him back anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. Anyway, anyone who read my rant thanks for reading.

I know I have to get to the point where I don't care and this stuff doesn't hurt me, but it still does. I know intellectually all the things to say to myself, but I guess after all these years, it still hurts. I'm not jealous, I don't want him back. I just need to heal myself and my children. It really helps to have this forum. Thanks for reading guys.