Divorce looming #6

[K4D]

25,

I'm not getting any calls back on any jobs. I am studying. The job market doesn't look very good right now. But hopefully that will change with some time. I'm just trying to learn what I can and try and be as prepared as possible.

GAL is not going so well. I need to try better at that.

I have a friend from Dallas who is flying into Orlando on March 30th for a job training thing so he called me this morning and told me he wants to get together. So I will be driving over there to hang with him a bit for that day. Its only an hour away. Not bad at all.

I don't know if W is worried I will say something. When I was there, we got into an arguement one night after I had finally gotten tired of taking her crap and in the heat of the arguement the kids walked in and I kept going and telling her that she is the reason our family is breaking up and she couldn't be more selfish for seeking this D and destroying our family. I was so mad at the time and of course the kids heard it.

She has been suspicious of me ever sense that arguement. I should have stopped when the kids walked in, but I was just livid with W.

I have also prayed for our family to be healed and stay together when it was me and the kids and that really got on her nerves.

And yes, the kids do know that this is her decision and not mine. I felt like she needed to own up to this alone in front of them since she was the one pursuing it. She and her BFF made me out to be the bad guy for that. But I was not going to tell my kids I was ok with this or for it when I am not. I was not going to lie to them.

So W holds some resentment towards me and distrust from when I was there.

I should have handled some things better like the arguement. But I don't apologize for not going along with this D infront of the kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with them knowing where I stand on the issue.

I'm not for it. I'm not going to lie and say I am.

At the same time I don't talk about it with them now. When they say they miss me and want me home. I tell them I miss them to and want to be home with them and I tell them I wish I could be, but I can't right now. But I tell them that when I do get home, we will have a great time together.

Kevin