I echo what lost said...plus, bashing the other parent during divorce proceedings is called "parental alienation" and is prohibited in many states (in California you can LOSE custody for bashing the other spouse), and in ALL states it can affect custody. (So I guess if your w wants to call you a "@#$%^&*!!", in front of the kids, she has to STAY M to you!!??)
Seriously, it's a bad idea. She can't do it and you can't either. Tell her you won't, and that now it's time for you to talk privately to the kids. You don't need monitoring. But will your w say that you do? I mean, is there a reason for her to be concerned?
Assuming no, then just do as Lost suggests. No biggie. You want the kids to feel freely able to speak; it's about their freedom to speak openly, not yours. What is she afraid they'll say? Ask her that.
As for the fine line between control and not being a doormat, hey, welcome to the DB world. We all have to find where the line is between setting a healthy boundary and being punitive...and the line shifts sometimes ...which also sucks. But that IS a problem we all have had to face and often still do.
But of course when you get back there, most of this will be moot. So, how's the GAL and job hunt there going? Or the studying? Whatever the Plan du jour is, how is it going?
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
