Had a nice day yesterday, even though to could've been much worse. We made our mediator appointment for next week and decided to meet for lunch to go over the worksheets that they sent us. For privacy, we met in a parking lot in her car. It started weird, but went through child care share options and then financial and household items. Took almost two hours.
Mood of the convo was tense at first, but we tried to make light of some things. During the child care talk, we both made it clear that we were going to work hard to make sure they had as normal of a life and adjustment as possible. We also both emphasized a spirit of fairness that we wanted to exhibit during this process.
After the details were gone through, there were some touchy-feely things we talked about - how hard this is, what happened, but how we both hoped that we could keep and possibly grow a new and deep friendship in the face of this adversity. Some tears flowed and a couple of hugs.
That night we didn't talk anymore on it, but I did move close to her in bed. She was receptive, but worried that ML might be too much for me as she didn't want to hurt me anymore. I said it wouldn't and she asked was I saying that just cause I wanted sex? I said no, but I did want sex. We both laughed. We ML and it was great. It gave me no hope for any reconcilliation, but it felt great and we both enjoyed ourselves. Might be the last time as once the papers are signed and filed be can't touch each other for 60 days, but the D date in court.
I think we both saw each other in a new light yesterday - the beginning of the end? But, it was ok.
