As far as your h, you told him the news. Do not worry about telling his mother - let him deal with it. Do not call him again about your granddaughter or your daughter. These are his relationships to handle. Not your responsibility to get in the middle of them.
As far as your son, try not to put him in the middle of your issues with your h. Tell h that he is not to talk about you to son and that you will do the same. This is very impportant. Your son has enough to worry about right now without having to deal with you and your h and your issues.
S, try to pull back from your h, if you can. Enjoy your new grandbaby, try to get your financials back on track, be there for your son and daughter, and maybe reconnect with an old friend (J). Let your h blow in the wind. He is responsible for his relationships, you are responsible for yours.
