You have done a wonderful job standing strong in the past couple of months. I didn't see any backslides until the past few days. You do seemed to have taken a few steps backwards though and have actually been in pursuit mode. Showing up at bowling, then calling him, and then pressuring him by telling him what you needed and wanted are all backslides and pursuit, which I think you have found out, very seldom work..... I think you know this now.
Okay. That said.. What is the game plan from this point?
I believe that you have your answer. He lied. He said he would never lie again. He did lie again. He needs to see and know that it WAS and IS a DEAL BREAKER. There is nothing to talk about. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
As I read and try to get a take on your mindset, it is coming across to me that you are actually happier WITHOUT him. Since you have opened the door a sliver, it looks and seems if it has made you less happy instead of the other way around.
I would recommend that you drop off the face of the earth to him for the time being. Do not return any form of communication from him. You need a complete 180 here. You got your answer. He can't be believed or trusted. Why would a person even want to be with someone who had a chance to make things right, and then is caught red handed so easily.
You are right witht the fact of gaining your self confidence. He dropped the ball. It doesn't seem that what he does is enough for you anyway. Trying to make him into someone he isn't, is futile. He doesn't get it. You gave him an opening. Slam the door shut for awhile.
This will set you up for your "I have done some thinking and this is what I HAVE DECIDED" speech at a later date.
He lied. You caught him in his lie. He told you he would never lie again. Your answer is before you.
I would go into complete darkness and dealbreaker mode. His loss. She can have him....
Pursuing doesn't work. He can't pursue you when you aren't moving away from him. Let him wonder why you are not returning communication.
