Kevin, If it concerns your kids, you put aside your goals, and screw the line.
When I found out W was going to bring OM to my kids games, on MY time, I said I would walk out. She brought him, and I took my kids in their uniforms and walked out the door.
Did it help my "goal"? I didn't care. Did it drive a wedge between us? I didn't care.
What I cared about was that my wife was having an affair, and flaunting it, and my kids were going to know that it wasn't right.
I didn't care what W thought, or what goal it met, or what it did. Alot of people actually recommended I NOT walk out.
You will know in your heart if it's right or not. For example, moving back to Dallas to be with your kids, and sacrificing, and working two jobs, and studying your butt off - why would you even consider what W thought in that case?
I am filing divorce at approximately 5pm tomorrow. It doesn't achieve my goal, it will certainly put a wedge between W and I, but you know what?
It will bring closure to me and my kids, it'll help us all move on, it'll put an end to 2.5 years of waffling, and it'll be a moral lesson to my kids as well.
Sometimes, doing the right thing isn't easy or fun.
I'm not necessarily suggesting that you do any of what I've mentioned, but if you start with what is best for your KIDS, you won't have to worry about what is controlling or not because it won't matter... That's served me well so far.
