My db coach said that when h would call, I should "Listen like a lover" (depending on your sitch that might mean "a friend" but you get the point) and to contrast the negative images they use to justify their actions, with positives...which is another reason for 180s...Don't fuel the negative images, so if there were temper problems, LOSE THE ANGER, at least in front of her... This was huge for me, b/c h infuriated me with selfishness and deceit. But the more I complained...the less he wanted to hear it. And remember to have fun together--laugh. it helps the bonding, and their negative recall of the M won't withstand all the positives and pleasant moments you can create.
Just food for thought. Try Laughing a lot! (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
