Divorce looming #6

[K4D]

StrgMarvelousWmn,

I love your signature at the end. It made me think. So I decided to make it my signature on my emails.

Its a very good one.

Kevin

[davidswife]

Kevin,

That letter to your wife is WEAK. This is why she has no RESPECT for you. Don't send it.

And stop the whole mind-wandering bit. You're a grown up man - if you're studying, then study! If not - don't call it studying.

As much as you post here, I don't see how much "studying" is being accomplished. Please think of your girls, and get it together.

dw

[K4D]

DW,

I am trying. I'm not going to send the email. I guess I will just wait until she contacts me about the final D decree and accept it graciously. I suppose its the best thing I can do.

I am studying. I guess I take to many breaks to check back here though.

You are right. I did go back and read that letter and decided it was weak also.

Kevin

[K4D]

Its quiet tonite.

Kevin

[K4D]

I went to some friends house for dinner tonite. That was good.

I spoke to my kids on webcam when I got back. They are doing good. My W was in the room the whole time again. She comments on stuff we are talking about. I'm not sure why she feels the need to contstantly be in the room when we are talking and then the additional need to comment from the peanut gallery.

She won't actually talk to me, but she will comment on their behalf when I talk to them. I don't say anything though.

My brother in law has been looking at my resume and making changes to it. He is pretty high up in bank of america so he is helping me at least look better for getting another job.

My girls said they are having grandma and their younger cousin spend the night with them tomorrow night.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

I guess my post didn't make it somehow and I lack the time to re-write it all out now. But DO NOT SEND THAT EMAIL...what are you thinking? IT IS WEAK and it's as if you want to prove it to her by writing this stuff...

Do you think she'll argue with you? What is your goal? To gain her respect? This WON"T DO IT...to gain her love? THIS WON"T DO IT....to make her feel more uncomfortable around you? Maybe this will do that....

I don't know what you are thinking. About a fourth of the letter was strong, but still sort of pointless. Why? B/C It is you making your arguments again to her. Again pleading your case (and that's the good part of the letter). The rest is how weak and hurt you felt and feel. SHE KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL....what she needs, what you need, what we ALL need is to see you differently.

180s + time = change she can believe in. Start the 180's and do them for more than a day...PLEASE... What else can I say?

Kev, come on now. You are better and bigger and stronger than this.

(( j ))

[K4D]

25,

I didn't send it. I'm not going to.

I'm not sending anything.

Kevin

[MrBond]

Maybe next time you can ask her to talk to your girls alone for some daddy-daughters time. I think she ought to respect your privacy.

[25yearsmlc]

Kev,

what is it you feel has been left unsaid? What is your goal in communicating with her? You know there are all those other issues with you and her, and control was one of the big ones. You can't leave her alone. Why? She WANTS you to leave her alone for now. She dislikes the pursuit and pleading you do...she told you that. It is not a turn on.

This "process" or MLC or whatever she's going through, is a process. You cannot help her with it. It's as if she has a puzzle to complete by herself but you keep hanging around her and looking over her shoulder, even when she tells you she wants to do it herself, you don't listen, and you keep telling her where to put the pieces and you are slowing her progress down....A LOT...and you're ignoring what she told you to do and not do. Sure, someone here will tell you "Don't listen to HER! Be the MAN, be the Boss!" ETC...but really, if you'd just leave her alone for awhile You'd come off as a lot stronger...and chances are, you'd feel better too. Am I wasting my time writing to you? Can you just re-read some of the posts so we don't have the same conversations almost daily? I'm not trying to be mean; I'm just frustrated.

Just be the best single dad you can be, for now. That's hard enough. Do that well, and leave the rest up to God (and I doubt I can bear repeating that again). But it's important that you get it. Really.

(( j ))

[K4D]

25,

I didn't send it. I'm not going to. I guess sometimes I just put thoughts down that I want to send. But you are right, there is nothing that hasn't been said. And I am not sending anything.

Stuck808,

I have the same thought. But I don't say anything as to not cause confrontation. If she wants to be in there, it may bug me, but I am not saying anything that she can't hear anyways. I do wish she would quit commenting and just let me talk to them. If she wants me out of her life, why doesn't she leave the room when I talk to them?

I guess she is worried I might say something she might not approve of. Who knows. I haven't. And I don't intend to unless they ask me something that I have to answer honestly. And that I will do should the kids bring up something of that nature. But nothing of that has come up. SO we are just talking. Me and my kids.

I don't know. Maybe I should start asking her to leave her room so me and the kids can talk on our own. I think the thing is they are on her computer in her room. That could be it and she doesn't want to either move the computer to another room while they chat or herself go to another room.

Kevin