I am pretty hard to offend, so please, keep the jokes coming.
I still can't shake the fear he won't miss me. But the truth is that if he doesn't, I'll have my answer that much sooner. Honestly, this all just really really sucks. I don't want to start over again. Period. Oh, plus I'm still in love with him, which makes the idea of starting over again so much worse.
Today when he got out of work, he called the stupid ex-OW from his EA. I don't know why he does this. She's so afraid of me that she emails me to let me know. (I've blocked her number from being able to call or text me.) He's told me and she's confirmed that he's helping her with career decisions and such. But really, I wish she would stop emailing. Normally, I just delete them. I looked at it today because I'm in was in the middle of day three of going dark. He used to call me at that time. And really, I guess I'm sensitive right now because of the going dark. He did call me around 8:00 and I was playing tennis. I only saw him for about 20 seconds today and that's because I was driving by the golf course and he was getting ready to play. I stopped said hi and kept going. I called him back around 8:45 he didn't answer. He called me back--in the shower. We talked for about 5 minutes. Nothing serious. Pretty neutral. I've had more intimate conversations with strangers. But I won my tennis match. I really really hate this crap. Anyone still think I can be cautiously optimistic? Oh, and Kassie, ,"what do you call it when it is you that has fallen down drunk on the floor next to the bed"....I call it a good night.
