You guys are the best.....seriously! Thanks Sandi for checking in. Things are up and down. I don't know what to think. H and I still get together with friends and IT IS SO HARD for me not to confide in my girlfriends and family. Still feel lonely. I am guilty of being overly attentive but not so much lately. Just try to be polite, get him a glass of water before bed, massage his back when it hurts, blah blah blah.
Yesterday, my son pitched his first game as a senior. Did great and was proud of him! H showed up and wasn't too late (miracle). I drove to the game with some friends as it was about an hour away from home and asked if I could drive back with H. He said of course. So on the way home we met some other baseball parents for drinks/pizza. Had fun. I notice all of the silly things now....like when my friend's husband rubbed her back (jealous) and my other friend's husband hugged her from behind (jealous). Meanwhile, when we drove home together, I felt the need to be chatty to avoid complete SILENCE in the car. When I did shut-up, it was evident that he wasn't going to initiate any conversation. AWKWARD!!!!!!
So....got home, he slept on the couch and I slept in our room. That really bothers me. Plus....this morning he said "Hi Ab" instead of "Hi Hun". Now, all phone messages are "Hi Ab". I know this seems silly and insignificant but it kills me! Plus, he hasn't showered at home for a few days. I guess he goes to the gym...but where are the dirty gym clothes? There aren't any. Hm-m-m-m. I need to stop the overthinking!
Sandi, your list was fantastic. I am working on some things. Gym workouts have been a lifesaver! Music is always soothing and a blessing. Have taken some great beach walks with my dogs.
