My situation #9

[steady]

Hi Tim. I'm working on it. Each day that passes it seems like it gets easier and easier to detach. I'm not hiding from any of it, rather, I'm facing it head on and yielding to what is.

Some days it still comes in at times and hits me a bit, but I'm pretty quick to narrow my mind into the task at hand - so that's working well for me. Keeping my mind from being in the past or projecting out into the future.

I had a session with my psychiatrist and that went well. He told me he was proud of all the changes I've made and how far I've come. He asked me if I've gotten to the point of not loving my W anymore. I told him no. He said there comes a point at sometime where you just don't love them anymore. He told me his ex W tried coming back to him a year after they D and he told her there was too much water under the bridge.

I commented on how I've heard that said by so many people. And he told me it happens alot. I quoted some statistics I read about a survey that was done on people who initiated D 5 years after - something like 80% reported they were no happier than when they were married. Approximately the same amount said they wished they had stayed in the M and worked out the issues.

Anyway, I'm doing well. Keeping the focus where it belongs and finding it easier and easier to do it. My detachment level is pretty high and I don't find myself wondering about my W's thoughts/feelings/actions, etc.. It doesn't matter to me. Again, it's not that I don't care - it's more like I can't be bothered.

So that's the update.

And Tim, lol at the splinters. I find that it's a beating done with love....

I remembered this quote tonight - just popped in out of nowhere while I was sitting in the waiting room at the psychiatrists office. I heard it a long time ago:

Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
All you have is today.