Hi, welcome, thanks for your comments and perspective. There's a lot of info in previous threads but I will summarize for you. This his second attempt at sobriety. The first one started Memorial Wknd '07. He went to meetings 3-5 times a week and I went to alanon at least 2 times a week. We had a great 6 weeks while it lasted - and a hellish everafter since. Altho, I can say that he did try to control his drinking often during the year. At the same time he became more difficult to live with.
This time, he immediately began attending daily and sometimes 2X a day. I think he is only doing daily now. Had a temp sponsor first month, got bored with the meetings, and then had a terrible breach of confidentiality with a priest and was referred to another sponsor. This sponsor redirected him to different meetings where he feels he is learning and this sponsor makes him call 2 or more times a day. The other thing I have some confidence about this sponsor is that his former sponsor was a friend of the real Bill W.
I also have confidence in the IC because I know him very well. He is fluent in D/A issues and MH issues which my H has both. He also was our MC and my IC before, and my son's IC, so I know what to expect. My H doesn't connect well with C but I know he liked this man before.
You can read my prior post to SO2 about my timeline thinking. I am so confused at this point. I want to be there for my H, it is my total nature to be there for people, but I feel strongly that this is something he has to do on his own or it won't happen. I hate being on the side of this and I might be wrong. But his sobriety is far more important to me than our R. surviving this. I want him to be OK, I want him to really get to a point where he can enjoy life with whatever time he has left whether it is with me or not.
I on the other hand, am admittedly a mess of emotions and bad memories. I want to work things out, but I am tired of complications in my life at this stage. I want peace. I want to enjoy what time I have left. I still have to get my older kids out on their own successfully. I am not quite done that job but close. I am tired of caretaking and I think I will vent that one in a separate post so as not to detain you too much further.
Any additional comments are welcomed. Obviously, you see the other side and it is easier for me to hear it from you than him. I also wonder if you need the same?
