I'm sorry I've left you behind for awhile... I've been off the DB boards some... I seem to email a few of the guys from the board individually than get on here..
OK I read up on your thread... I did want to make a comment to what you wrote about a few weeks back. Several other posters said the same thing to you as well. You know we only all have your best interest in mind. I think it is ok to leave the door cracked when and if your H comes back... BUT like many said live your life as if he isn't coming back... so if it would take 6 months or more to get yourself ready to move back to your family then if you talk to your H and start wheels in motion he might see you are serious and it might force the issue for him to make some decisions (if he is going too)
I'm sure whatever plans you put in place can be stopped or put on hold in regards to getting ready for the move if H comes back but it sounds like that is what would ultimately make you and probably your kids happy if this indeed does end up down the dreaded D path.
Just from my own experience, my H is in a contant push and pull match (not knowningly) and when I seem less "friendly" and more distant but pleasant he comes around crying and telling me how sorry he is or how painful this is for him. I think it shows a since of respect to your H if he sees you are going to move on with or without him... To date he hasn't had to make any decisions one way or the other b/c he probably knows you will be there for him.
I want to give you kudo's to all the weight you have lost, the fact that you have a part time job, and you have done so much work that you will be a better person and a better Mom in the end. You have made great 180's and I know I have seen them.
Also, I loved that you stood up to your H when it came to the kids and that he couldn't just decide to change his plans and not see the kids or come later in the day.. proud of you.. Men like a strong women and most men need a strong women so that really showed him that you do have respect and demand it of him .... you stated your boundries.... great job.
I only want what is best for you and maybe setting a time frame for you is a good idea and when that time comes you know you will be making plans to move in another direction.... Such a hard decision .. love to you - hope you know this only comes from a warm place in my heart..
I will try to update my thread in next day or two..
Hugs>>>>
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
