Happy Birthday, Gyps! Time is a wonderful thing. It will get easier. I think about a line you once posted "the very word divorce terrified me".
I can remember identifying so much with that line. The thought of losing my life as I knew it, almost caused me to......well.....lose my life at my own hand. I WAS DEVASTATED!!!!! It was terrifying. I can remember being so anxiety ridden that I couldn't sit in my house, and on one occassion thought I was going to physically die during a meeting at school. I couldn't stay in the room for more than 10 minutes at a time, and sweat was pouring down my face.
Well, fast forward three years. Although it's sad that she decided to "pull the chute" on the marriage, and make the kids have a broken family, I have nothing but contempt and pity for her. This has been going on for nearly 4 years, and to quote one of Donna's lines "let go or be dragged". I've got the emotional "road rash" to prove I was dragged too far.
You are a wonderful person. As Gym Lady has said about her XH and my STBXW "Good things cannot continue to happen to bad people". Her husband made 3.5 million a year at the peak of his career. He now has to drive a leased mini-Cooper because of his bad financial sense, and is on the brink of a third divorce (he was married before he married Gym Lady).
Divorce is a HORRIBLE thing in most cases. The utter betrayal by the person you thought you were closest to is beyond devastating.
I once read that more than 75% of men over the age of 50 who are divorced remarry. I NEVER, EVER thought I would find anyone, but lo and behold, I did, and when I LEAST expected it.
Continue to be your positive self. Your ex (Conan the "WARRIOR" by the way, I know REAL warriors) is a bully. There's a difference. REMEMBER: GOOD THINGS CAN'T CONTINUE TO HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE. You, on the other hand are a sweetheart, and good things will come your way
FL..
I've read and reread your post and can't thank you enough for taking the time to reply.
Although I cringe whenever it comes to making judgments about whether or not good can happen in his life, I appreciate what you shared. It brought a hug to my heart.
You have my attention, what is the secret to life? Just kidding, I see you moving all over the place. What are you learning about life? Tell us. Inquiring minds want to know.( control freaks need to know, and WAS don't care) another LOL please.
Seriously, I don't know you and don't know much but you are a curious one. I think that is a very way to come out of a terrible place.
My dad is in the hospital, again. Along with all his other ailments (congestive heart failure, diabetes, stroke, weird mass in his colon, frequent blood transfusions) he has a condition which leads to leukemia if it goes untreated. Two nights ago he had a nose bleed that was so severe he had to be hospitalized. Because of his weakened condition, they can't keep up the chemotherapy to avert the leukemia. Based on his newest symptoms he may already have it. A trip to see him is in my near future.
He robbed me of my innocence but ended up being the best father he knew how to be.. and absolutely the most loving father while I was in traction as a child. He's my father.. and occasionally my daddy. Please send good thoughts for him.
On the looser side.. I've had a few firsts:
My college roommate is coming out to 'clean'. That's her idea of a great vacation. Last time she came we filled a one car garage with Goodwill donations and tossed twice as much clutter. My achievement today was renting my first dumpster ever which will be delivered this morning. It's at least 10' long. Goodness and I'll probably fill it, too.
Ex now wants me to take over finding someone to do the taxes. Apparently his lawyer told him that you could write off 30% to 50% of the legal fees as counsel on tax advice. I read that the legal fees have to be separated out for what was tax advice and what was property division. It sounds kinda fishy... Has anyone else had experience in this?
Also the QDRO for the 401(k) is incorrect as spouse set it up. I finally had a name to contact who I could ask pertinent questions. I'm going to get all my questions in order and then send an email to ex. I have to be careful because if I ask in dribs and drabs, he thinks I'm just trying to prolong things.
My bad eating habits are beginning to effect my daughter. She's always been slender, still is, but is starting to gain a little weight. It might be because she is still growing.. but I'm nervous that part of it might be from my example. One more thing to work on.
Well.. it's late. I'm attending a full day seminar on a new technique at the hospital called "Therapeutic Touch". From that I'll go straight to the airport to pick up my roomie.
Happy Dumping! Can you tell I'm a guy? Cleaning can be pretty cathartic. You mentioned your eating habits being poor. That might be a good goal for you as well. The better I eat, the better I feel. Better eating sounds like a great goal for you, maybe one to share with your daughter. You used to mention exercise a lot. Wha' hapeen????
I really rely on exercise as a major mood elevator. So many positive side effects. OK, I'll get off the soapbox.........Have a great weekend. I'm going to Boston with G.L.!
re: tax, sounds fishy, I would be weary, if it is his brilliant idea let him do it, I wouldn't risk getting audited by the IRS IMHO.
Eating habits, do you eat junk? not nutritious food? check kraft foods online for good tips and easy to fix good meals. Go shopping with a full stomach to avoid buying chips and pies and junk.
Will keep your father on my prayers.
have a good one hon, what a good friend you have to help you clean btw, those are golden/!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
