I think we all have the same fear -- "what happens if we both detach and move on -- then what??" I know I sure do. The point, however, is that one person can't hold on without the other. If he is detached, then you have to as well.
You'll know that you are detached when you stop thinking about him or caring what he is thinking or doing.
IMO the point is to detach, but not actively push him away by becoming cold, unfriendly or rude - ie leave the door open or the bridge intact. It's not easy, because just keeping the door open, maintaining friendly contact, continuing to show that you care about the person, etc keeps you somewhat attached.
It's a difficult line to walk - just keep struggling along with the rest of us.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
