You overthinking everything makes it about you and that is not the case. Comes a time, when he walks out of the bathroom from washing his hands, and if you overthink things, you wondering why he didn't wash yours hands while he was in there, he must have done it on purpose.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
My wife used to say she is not leaving her family. She would never acknowledge the fact that we were a family. In a wierd way she viewed the kids, herself and her family as a family. I was not included.
I know exactly what you mean, sucks sometimes doesn't it?
I'm learning to be a lil' cold to a certain extent. I used to let everything bother me and show that it affected me. Now not so much, even if it does affect me I let it roll off my back, so now those comments are coming less frequently.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
Hey You Thanks for thinking about me. Rough weekend, rough Monday, but much better now. 0 contact today but I'll see him for the kid swap later today. Then I will see him againg for the kid swap back at 8:15. (H has a job that doesn't allow S to sleep with him during the week.) But I've gotten some great advice and now pulling my head out of the sand, I hope the worst is over in terms of that particular back slide. How are things for you? I don't think your H wants to leave. I think he was unhappy about somethings and started taking it out on you. And there were probably some things in the M he was unhappy about too, but maybe just lumped it all together and put it on you--then decided you out of his life would be the best, fastest solution. I really really don't think your H wants to leave. It just doesn't sound like it to me. I agree though, it does sound like he's having a nutty like my H.
Happy Hump Day I hope you're ok. I haven't seen you here lately and just wanted to give you a cyber hug.
Hey bebe...I'm here, I didn't hop on the PC over the wknd, and yesterday I was bz at work, so didn't hop on again.
Things are basically the same. Yesterday we were getting some tax stuff together and he called me baby, sounded like it slipped out by accident though. He has been calling my different pet names, but that was the first "baby" in many many months.
Yesterday morning the alarm went off early, and he asked me what it was for I told him so I can get up and ride my exercise bike beofre work, and he said, come on, not today and hugged me tight. This AM it was the tight hugging again.... So confusing.
Here's a real kicker. We never took a family portrait before, and u know what.... he suggested we take a FAMILY pic this wknd. WTH?? But yet the kisses are still on the cheek. I get confused and angry.
Today a thought popped into my head, I want a Husband again. One that LOVES me, I can't help but feel like I'm wasting my time and energy on this man when there can be one that would love me to bits. I'm tired of the mixed signals.
He's called me 2x today, "just to say hi" which is one of my DB goals, but sometimes I wonder if each time I reach a DB goal if it's just false hope. Seems like he may want to reconcile but the cheek kisses get to me and he doesn't say he wants to, haven't heard an ILY since Oct 2008. I'm just frustrated. I'm going to be very very dark when he goes on his trip. Let him have time alone to think if that's the life he wants, or if he wants me around.
Sorry to be a downer today. But sometimes the good times get me angry b/c I don't know where we're at.
On a good note, my clothes are fitting looser so my Rockin' workouts are working and I will be smoking Hot this summer!! LOL
How is ur day? I'll hop over to your post. Thanks for checking up on me.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
Hiya-- Good, I'm glad you're still with me, I was worried. The cheek thing is so very weird. Maybe that's his one last front of resistance? Maybe you are starting to really look smokin' hot already and he's noticing..???? Maybe it didn't slip out as much as he wanted to see what your reaction would be...???? What do you think his reaction is going to be if you go dark for his trip? You don't think he's going to want to call and check in with you? How often do you initiate contact now?
Now I initiate lil' contact b/c one of his complaints was that I was always up his A$$... I would call him a few times a day & text. Now I wait for him to initiate contact. BTW he called me 3x today...all with no real significant reasons.
I'm sure he'll call to chk up on the girls and such, but I'm not going to call him as much as I used to whenever he goes over there. Usually it'd be one of us calling in the AM so the girls an talk to him before skl, then I'd call him on my lunch break, then we'd speak at nite to say GN... But when he got back I made a comment about him not calling for a couple of nites when he'd told me he would and he said how can I call you if you never gave me a chance to. Soooo...this time I'm going to take "me" time. Try not to worry about him, I'm sure he'll be safe he's a big boy, doesn't need me worrying if he's ok.
Let's see where that takes me.
As for my reactions to the pet names, I act like they're normal. I don't give any type of reaction, b/c I don't want to get excited & have him blow me off.
Do you think it'll be wise to try to kiss him on the lips when he kisses my cheek? He has no problem kissing me on the lips when we're ML...sorry TMI LOL
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
I would say no, don't kiss him on the lips during the cheek kiss. Let him think you haven't even noticed it...that he's kissing you on the cheek as opposed to the lips. And if he is kissing you on the lips when you ML (which is not TMI, I think we both understand such things! LOL!) that's a good thing I believe. I say let the cheek thing go, maybe he's waiting for you to react to it. Let it go and make it one of the things you monitor. Wait and see when he kisses you again on the lips. I think it will be pretty soon.
