Seperated But Living Together

[2gthrButApart]

Happy Hump Day
I hope you're ok. I haven't seen you here lately and just wanted to give you a cyber hug.

Hey bebe...I'm here, I didn't hop on the PC over the wknd, and yesterday I was bz at work, so didn't hop on again.

Things are basically the same. Yesterday we were getting some tax stuff together and he called me baby, sounded like it slipped out by accident though. He has been calling my different pet names, but that was the first "baby" in many many months.

Yesterday morning the alarm went off early, and he asked me what it was for I told him so I can get up and ride my exercise bike beofre work, and he said, come on, not today and hugged me tight. This AM it was the tight hugging again.... So confusing.

Here's a real kicker. We never took a family portrait before, and u know what.... he suggested we take a FAMILY pic this wknd. WTH?? But yet the kisses are still on the cheek. I get confused and angry.

Today a thought popped into my head, I want a Husband again. One that LOVES me, I can't help but feel like I'm wasting my time and energy on this man when there can be one that would love me to bits. I'm tired of the mixed signals.

He's called me 2x today, "just to say hi" which is one of my DB goals, but sometimes I wonder if each time I reach a DB goal if it's just false hope. Seems like he may want to reconcile but the cheek kisses get to me and he doesn't say he wants to, haven't heard an ILY since Oct 2008. I'm just frustrated. I'm going to be very very dark when he goes on his trip. Let him have time alone to think if that's the life he wants, or if he wants me around.

Sorry to be a downer today. But sometimes the good times get me angry b/c I don't know where we're at.

On a good note, my clothes are fitting looser so my Rockin' workouts are working and I will be smoking Hot this summer!! LOL

How is ur day? I'll hop over to your post. Thanks for checking up on me.