Just missing you guys a little!

[Amy M]

He's officially made me crazy!!!

I checked my email this morning and there was one from him on the settlement papers. He's asking for more time to refinance the boat. I knew he would after our discussion the other night. But, he ended the email with the question, "So, what do you want to do?" So, the crazy part was I responded with this stupid email...

H, I want to cancel the divorce and have my husband, the one who promised in front of family and friends to be faithful until death, come home and make things right for this family. It could be done. But, what Amy wants has been irrelevant for years. So, please mark up the settlement exactly as you think it should read and return it to me so I can get it finalized as quickly as possible and you can get on living your good, new life. Amy

And, not following the 24-hour wait rule (because I've never followed that rule, ever!!!), I hit send.

I showered and got dressed for work, and then called and left the following VM...H, I sent you an email this morning in a moment of insanity. Please disregard it. I meant everything in it, I just shouldn't have actually said the words out loud so to speak. Call me when you can because we need to discuss my liability concerns about the boat.

So, he calls. We argue because he can't refinance the boat. And, surprise, that's MY fault! And, so is the fact that he took my name off the boat insurance when he renewed it. And, believe it or not, it's also MY fault that this divorce is not done and that by the time it's complete he'll only have 2 weeks per the agreement to get his financial stuff in order. And, finally, it's MY fault that he doesn't have time to discuss it any further because he's got to work so much harder to ensure that he can make enough money to pay off all that he owes (to me...not said, but implied by tone).

At one point, I hung up...I did tell him I was going to if he didn't change his tone. I waited 5 minutes and called back. I told him that none of this financial mess was my fault. I reminded him that he had agreed to refinance by June 1, and that he had been the one to delay getting me the initial draft of the settlement, and that I never told him to take my name off the insurance. And, that I never, ever had wanted the divorce, but that I had actually gone above and beyond to try to facilitate the process for him.

Then I said, mark up the agreement as you want it to read...word for word. Don't send me comments to add, but, mark it up. Then, send me the marked up version, and I'll get that to the attorney immediately. I will need you to add my name back onto the insurance if you are not going to refinance the boat right away.

So, in the end, he's gonna hate me anyway in spite of all of my efforts to make sure that didn't occur. Not much I can do about that now. Maybe that was the message I got from God last night...that He can see to it that eventually H and I can get along again for the sake of the kids...that in itself would be a giant to conquer at this point for sure!

Okay...just needed to get it off my chest. I'm fine. I was feeling soft last night...like maybe I was moving ahead sooner than God intended. Surely don't have that same feeling today!!!

Hugs and love to all!!!

Amy