What is best for my son?

[BobbiJo]

Thanks for the info., Greek! Very insightful.

I am going to the bookstore today to buy "How to Improve Your M Without Talking About It". The DB coach suggested it, then I heard Kalni mention it, so I am buying it! I read a 2-page excerpt on the website for the bookstore. Oops! I do some of the things I read.

For example, it said that you 'shame' your husband when you act afraid of how he drives. That he knows he can keep you safe. That is EXACTLY how my H acts! If I ever grab for the handrail-thing on my door when he goes really fast or switches lanes or passes someone closely, he gets all mad.

Never thought he saw it as me doubting him. I should have though, he always says "When have I EVER hurt you or gotten into an accident driving?" Which is true, I have hit a deer, rolled my car on gravel and got into a fender-bender. All were my fault accidents and he wasn't with me any of those times! But because I have had bad car experiences, I get nervous when I ride with him, or other people, too. Hmm...

Oh and it mentioned eye contact differences between girls/boys. No wonder my son has such a hard time! I always want him to look at me when I am talking to him. I can't wait to read this book...

Not much else in the world. I have been in a really good mood this week, coincidentally (or not?) H has been in Canada all week.

We have been doing some texting, friendly, low-key stuff. He tells me how hard he has been working (a co-worker was up 29 hours straight, they just bought a plant up there and are trying to get it running properly, there were no systems in place for them to ship anything ); I tell him I wish he didn't have such a stressful job but I appreciate the work he does to support our family. Trying to be affirming and validating.

Last night he called at 9:30 when kids should have been in bed, but weren't b/c I was just home from night class and Grandpa had spoiled them! Anyway his first words were, "How are YOU?" like he called to talk to me. Usually it has been "What are the kids up to?" meaning he wants to talk to them. So I told him how I was, which was GREAT! I was very happy/upbeat/friendly which was not an act, it is how I have been feeling all week. He responded by being very nice and chatty. Then I gave the phone to the kids and D was crying and saying "I love you I miss you" in a very small voice. At least she will get to see him this weekend when he gets back.

Oh and I have been getting up earlier in the morning so I am not so rushed-out-the-door as I have been. Makes me more relaxed so the kids are more relaxed. We even stopped for donuts this morning since we were running ahead of schedule. It feels good to start getting organized again...