I think I'm somewhere between ok to pretty good, all things considered.
Yesterday was day two going as Dark as I can since we have a son together. Tuesday and Wednesday, no contact from me to him at all. He called me once to double check the plan. I didn't answer and called him back a few minutes later.
Otherise, we only talked when he dropped S off. And both times I was upstairs, on purpose and he came up to talk to me. We only talked about my new job opportunities, the house (we were burglarized and I am the one dealing with the insurance company because H doesn't like to do that kind of thing--hope he realizes and appreciates this fact) and our S. On Tuesday, he gave me a squeeze good night. Yesterday, he gave me an arm squeeze and I walked away to finish getting ready for bed because I just really wanted to grab him.
Today, and the rest of the weekend until Sunday night, there's a good chance I won't see or talk to H. And that is going to be the real test for me and very tough. I have S until Monday night. Sunday nights we always eat dinner together at the friends house where I am staying. (That's a long standing tradition, from way before H left.)
This going dark thing has been tough and honestly, I've been able to do it knowing I would see him later for at least a few minutes.
So to prepare myself for the rest of the week and weekend, I am having dinner with our friends tonight, then I have a tennis match. (I'm gonna crush them!!) Tomorrow, I'm having Mommy Night with my amazing girlfriends. Saturday, I'm going to take S to a few museums since I think he's old enough to appreciate these things now. Pizza for dinner. And on Sunday.....not sure what we'll do, but I'm just trying to stay busy busy busy.
So, I'm glad you "stopped by", AJ. I'm just not sure what I should be looking for when H and I do interact now. Any ideas-- what are the sign, good or bad that I need to keep my eyes open for?
But yesterday, I ended my day on a high note: a guy in my yoga class asked me for my number!!! The boys still want my old lady mommy digits! I told him I was married, and he apologized again and I said "don't apologize, you just made my day!"
Of course, I didn't tell H this, it's for me to giggle about when he makes me nutz.
So, I think I'm ok. Bracing for the impact of a tough few days here and gearing up for not seeing/texting/talking/emailing him. I keep telling myself, it's killing him too. Right?
