W wrote a journal from 1 year before she met me, through our entire courtship up until the time we were married. Before she met me she was in an intense amount of personal pain, wishing for death, going from relationship to relationship, and basically allowing herself to be used sexually. It all tied around to people close to her dying and she hated her family.

After she met me she mellowed out a ton. She basically worshipped the ground I walked on, her family saw her stabilize and fell in love with me, and basically we had 4 years of bliss and a baby.

After the baby, her father dying, then A, now D, she is going through the same exact self-destructive cycle she was going through prior to meeting me.

But I seem to be the only one looking at the possibility of a mental disorder such as Borderline Personality, her family just sees it as her going back to her old self. She hid a lot of the 'crazy' from me, but I got to see little bits and pieces prior to her dropping the bomb. Now, looking back in hindsight there was a pattern of behavior that should have clued me in had I known what to look for.

Basically, it is good that I've had the foresight to record/document each interaction, and to make sure that she can't say further lies, at least where our interactions are concerned. She has taken the "He is controlling" card to her family, and her grandmother jumped in on it saying I'm just a "control freak" which is why the D is happening.

I'm taking the high road and not getting into that squabble, because ultimately I'm not trying to win a popularity contest with her family - I'm trying to win the correct custody with my D1.

Despite all of it, I do love W, and I am hopeful she does get the help she needs. I'm just not sure how LRT/GAL/Distancing is working, because sometimes she will increase contact, other times she seems to enjoy the separation. Being a 'love addict' like Borderlines tend to be, I am almost tempted to try pursuing, but she has already attempted to 'punish' me for trying back in January so I had knocked it off.

I guess what I can try doing is being nice, cut out my 'common sense' talks that she says make her feel stupid, and just being as nonjudgmental as possible.

Emotions are starting to get the better of me in some respects, so I'll probably need to re-evaluate.

Right now my priority list:

1. D1
2. W getting help
3. M

I can't even think about the M until 2 happens.

"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."